I'll preface this by saying that this won't be a sad post. Not at all. This is the first Easter I've spent on my own, by myself, but I've had a wonderful Easter weekend. And I really wasn't on my own too much except on Easter itself.
It started on Friday when my two friends and I couldn't quite get our weekend sorted. Were we going to go to the Museum of Natural History that night and dye eggs the next day? Or vice versa? Oh wait, the museum closes at 5:45 pm, no dice. Grilled cheese then?
So we ventured to the Lower East Side where we ate grilled cheese with balsamic reduced onions and roasted brussels sprouts. And then we ate homemade rice krispie treats, which brought me back about 10 years or more. Seeing as I've been best friends with these two since middle school/high school, we always have lots to talk about, then we watched some TV and YouTube clips thanks to the awesome power of Apple TV. Seriously, if you've never seen Apple TV in action, you need to.
Yesterday was the first great weather day of the year, and the three of us made the most of it around the city.
We started at the Museum of Natural History where we saw lots of taxidermy-ed animals that were extremely impressive to see up close. Like elephants. I'll never be that close to a living elephant. We also saw the special whale exhibit going on that had a HUGE skeleton of a whale! I think even the tiniest bone in that thing could injure me if it fell on me. I learned some cool things about whales too and smelled ambergris, which apparently can be used as a spice, and after smelling it I believe it. But I wouldn't eat it after learning where it comes from...
My favorite part was the ocean room where they have a 95-foot long model of a blue whale and you can lay under it! They also have the famous "clash of the titans" exhibit, otherwise known as "the squid and the whale" exhibit. It's a model of a big whale fighting a giant squid, and it's not behind glass and it's crazy dark, so it's a little scary. Naturally, I needed to know everything about it when I got home, but the Internet failed me on that. Why is this exhibit in the dark?!?!
After we walked around the museum for nearly three hours, we had a late lunch at the 79th Street Boat Basin Cafe right on the Hudson River. The weather was perfect. It was so warm in the sun and a bit chilly when it went behind a cloud. From there, we did a little shopping at DSW where one friend found a pair of boots she's been searching for forever, then we went past my office to the Time Warner Center where the shopping continued. I didn't get anything at H&M (because I'm still trying to figure out how to dress this body of mine in the most flattering way possible), but I did splurge a little on some Urban Decay eyeliner at Sephora. We then made the most of all the samples in the store and I came out looking a little more put together than when I went in.
Then we sat on the edge of Central Park by the circle and relaxed and people watched. If there's one thing this city is good for, it's people watching. Also, when you just stop and look around this place, you feel sooo small. Especially in a place like Columbus Circle where the buildings overpower everything.
I went home from there and finished the book I was reading on the making of Breakfast at Tiffany's (my favorite movie), and settled in to veg out for the night.
Today I slept until 11 am. Yes, 11 am. I'm not ashamed. This is the first time in a week where I feel well-rested and can finally breathe normally! That means this week marks my return to the gym, though I'm hoping the sun starts staying around long enough for me to get some post-work runs in.
We were supposed to dye eggs today, but I think we all just wanted a day at our own places, which was fine by me. I did laundry, cleaned, made a big pot of marinara sauce, set up my budget for April with my new budgeting software (this probably DOES make me a real adult, right?) and am now finishing up Away We Go while my cable service cuts in and out during the sentimental ending.
One thing left: finally finish that damn speech.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
On Procrastination...
Remember yesterday when I was crazy productive?
Yeah, we're no longer in Productiveland.
I thought it would be easier to write this speech for work while at home (after working a full day at the office), but there's just so much around me that I'd rather pay attention to. Did I mention that the first draft of the speech is due tomorrow?
No worries, about 75% of it is done. So I'm not completely screwed. But man, when writer's block strikes, it hits me hard. But I am writing right now...
But I can't write a speech like I blog. Especially for a top executive at my company, who is a male and doesn't talk like a 24-year-old girl. Maybe we should just get Lena Dunham to read the speech. Hell, let's have her write the speech too!
So I started off with the best of intentions tonight. I got home and turned on my computer and ordered plenty of food to power me through a killer speech. And then the Internet happened, and before I knew it I was trawling around Buzzfeed like it was Disneyland Paris (which I have never been to and have researched extensively. Ask my freshman year roommates).
And then I turned on the TV because I couldn't have complete silence and, lo and behold, Say Yes to the Dress was on in marathon form. Marathon. I can't resist this show. I will watch episodes over and over. Part of it is seeing girls try on dresses like they're doing it for me? Like, "oh that girl is tall and skinny and that dress looks amazing on her. I'm short and stout so we can cross that one off the list." I'm more partial to the Atlanta edition of the show, and would love for Lori and Monte to be my future bridal fairy godmothers, but I'll watch whatever version TLC is currently serving up.
Oh yeah, I'm not even engaged.
By the way, my food arrives during this time and rather than fueling me, it distracts me because I don't want to get pizza grease on my new computer. I also ate a meal suitable for carbing up before a long run. News flash: I'm still sick and definitely not going on a long run tomorrow...but now I definitely should. Maybe some yoga instead (though I'm not sure how I'd fare in an exercise that focuses on breathing when I currently can't).
I then looked at the speech, took out one line, hit save and continued on my procrastinating.
Whenever I watch Say Yes to the Dress, my next move is to log on to Pinterest and start planning the wedding of mine that won't be happening for years. I start by looking at what everyone I'm following has pinned, and then make a beeline for the Wedding section. And then I get bored quite fast because I've seen all these pins and no one is adding anything new. And I'm sick of seeing all these cutesy rhyming things at weddings. I don't want rhyming.
At this point my cat curled up in his new favorite spot that shouldn't be his new favorite spot. I had visitors this weekend and after folding up my futon, I left the sheets on the bottom half and the visitor pillows on one side of the futon. The cat LOVES laying on the pillows. Sadly, these can't stay there forever. I think he'll get over it because, you know, he's a cat and this apartment is his lounging oyster.
Mind you this speech still needs to be written.
I gave it another go before starting this entry. I added maybe two more sentences? And then I collapsed on the couch and rolled into a ball, looked at my cat and said, "I can't do this!"
And he looked at me like I'm crazy.
You can try to make me feel guilty in saying, "Brianne, you should've started this earlier." But I did! It's 75% done! And then I found out this week that the first draft will be due Friday, and I panicked! Have you ever tried writing when the words just won't come out? I imagine it's a lot like child birth, but with fewer stretch marks. I mean, I can write a really crappy speech when forced to, but the goal is to do it so well the first time that my boss will say, "don't change a thing, this is PERFECT, " and I'll walk away while brushing the dirt off my shoulders.
But this is writing, and the first draft is never perfect. And the first draft my boss sees will not be my actual first draft. It will at least be my third.
Why can't writing speeches for someone with more life and work experience than you come out as easily as a blog entry? Don't tell me, "because life's not easy." That's a stupid and easy excuse. I think the audience might find my style of speaking slightly more interesting, but as it sounds like a 24-year-old on her second year on the job, it wouldn't be all that trustworthy now would it?
Think it's time to get to business? You're probably right.
Yeah, we're no longer in Productiveland.
I thought it would be easier to write this speech for work while at home (after working a full day at the office), but there's just so much around me that I'd rather pay attention to. Did I mention that the first draft of the speech is due tomorrow?
No worries, about 75% of it is done. So I'm not completely screwed. But man, when writer's block strikes, it hits me hard. But I am writing right now...
But I can't write a speech like I blog. Especially for a top executive at my company, who is a male and doesn't talk like a 24-year-old girl. Maybe we should just get Lena Dunham to read the speech. Hell, let's have her write the speech too!
So I started off with the best of intentions tonight. I got home and turned on my computer and ordered plenty of food to power me through a killer speech. And then the Internet happened, and before I knew it I was trawling around Buzzfeed like it was Disneyland Paris (which I have never been to and have researched extensively. Ask my freshman year roommates).
And then I turned on the TV because I couldn't have complete silence and, lo and behold, Say Yes to the Dress was on in marathon form. Marathon. I can't resist this show. I will watch episodes over and over. Part of it is seeing girls try on dresses like they're doing it for me? Like, "oh that girl is tall and skinny and that dress looks amazing on her. I'm short and stout so we can cross that one off the list." I'm more partial to the Atlanta edition of the show, and would love for Lori and Monte to be my future bridal fairy godmothers, but I'll watch whatever version TLC is currently serving up.
Oh yeah, I'm not even engaged.
By the way, my food arrives during this time and rather than fueling me, it distracts me because I don't want to get pizza grease on my new computer. I also ate a meal suitable for carbing up before a long run. News flash: I'm still sick and definitely not going on a long run tomorrow...but now I definitely should. Maybe some yoga instead (though I'm not sure how I'd fare in an exercise that focuses on breathing when I currently can't).
I then looked at the speech, took out one line, hit save and continued on my procrastinating.
Whenever I watch Say Yes to the Dress, my next move is to log on to Pinterest and start planning the wedding of mine that won't be happening for years. I start by looking at what everyone I'm following has pinned, and then make a beeline for the Wedding section. And then I get bored quite fast because I've seen all these pins and no one is adding anything new. And I'm sick of seeing all these cutesy rhyming things at weddings. I don't want rhyming.
At this point my cat curled up in his new favorite spot that shouldn't be his new favorite spot. I had visitors this weekend and after folding up my futon, I left the sheets on the bottom half and the visitor pillows on one side of the futon. The cat LOVES laying on the pillows. Sadly, these can't stay there forever. I think he'll get over it because, you know, he's a cat and this apartment is his lounging oyster.
Mind you this speech still needs to be written.
I gave it another go before starting this entry. I added maybe two more sentences? And then I collapsed on the couch and rolled into a ball, looked at my cat and said, "I can't do this!"
And he looked at me like I'm crazy.
You can try to make me feel guilty in saying, "Brianne, you should've started this earlier." But I did! It's 75% done! And then I found out this week that the first draft will be due Friday, and I panicked! Have you ever tried writing when the words just won't come out? I imagine it's a lot like child birth, but with fewer stretch marks. I mean, I can write a really crappy speech when forced to, but the goal is to do it so well the first time that my boss will say, "don't change a thing, this is PERFECT, " and I'll walk away while brushing the dirt off my shoulders.
But this is writing, and the first draft is never perfect. And the first draft my boss sees will not be my actual first draft. It will at least be my third.
Why can't writing speeches for someone with more life and work experience than you come out as easily as a blog entry? Don't tell me, "because life's not easy." That's a stupid and easy excuse. I think the audience might find my style of speaking slightly more interesting, but as it sounds like a 24-year-old on her second year on the job, it wouldn't be all that trustworthy now would it?
Think it's time to get to business? You're probably right.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
On Working From Home While Sick...
I just followed up a really great and tiring long weekend with three days (so far) of being sick.
I'll preface this discussion by saying, I rarely get sick. And then I moved to New York City. I had to take a few sick days last year (something I NEVER did at any part-time job), and I've taken two this year. One was in January when I was 90% sure I had strep throat (the doctor said otherwise, but then again I had to wait a few days to see him. I still think I had it during that time), and today for the freakin' common cold.
I never get colds, I get "sinus issues." My nose runs, my throat hurts, I get pressure in my head, and it's gone in a day. I woke up Monday feeling like crap and blamed it on the weather. And then yesterday I woke up feeling worse and weak and could not stop sneezing. I knew I hadn't suddenly developed some crazy allergy, but WebMD did tell me I have the common cold. For once it didn't tell me I was going to die.
So when I woke up and got ready today feeling like death, I knew it was time to stay home before I got the whole office sick. I also had a boatload of work to do.
I went back to bed for awhile to the discontent of my cat who loves routines, like me waking up at 7, but definitely needed that extra hour and a half. Then I made a to-do list on my computer and got to work.
Working form home has always sounded ideal to me. I don't have to worry about getting to or from work, I get to be comfortable, I could work out if I wanted to (not when I'm sick, obviously), my phone isn't constantly ringing...and as I daydream about this I always think, "nah I'll never get anything done like that, I'll eat my weight in junk and just be on Facebook all day."
Seriously, I've never been so productive. Seriously! First of all, I didn't turn the TV on at all, just had some music on while I read through articles for a newsletter. No one was calling me, I was able to focus on one thing at a time, the lighting in my apartment is much better than the fluorescent stuff that's prevalent in every office...it was perfect. Granted, there are certain things that I can only do at my office, like submitting invoices and whatnot, but those things that I never made it off my to-do list earlier this week? Done!
I learned a few things about myself today. For one, I don't have ADD. Sometimes with everything going on in an office, I feel like I don't actually have the capacity to focus on one thing at a time. But with all the distractions that my own apartment can tempt me with, I was able to put it all aside and just get things done. I also learned that I can get more done while not feeling stressed out. When I am stressed out, I hide it because who wants to work with the girl that's freaking out? No one. But hiding it doesn't help either. What I need to do from here on out is just take a deep breath and prioritize. Sometimes that means rearranging my to-do list to accommodate new projects, and that's ok.
I also learned that sick days as an adult are completely different from sick days during school. Despite how crappy I feel, I knew I couldn't just let everything slide today. I couldn't sit around watching Spongebob all morning...ok, so I did watch SOME Spongebob, but what's a sick day without cartoons? At least I didn't take an hour break at 11 am to catch The Price is Right.
I suppose the overarching lesson here is that when you actually stop and look at yourself, you realize how much you've grown. I've always felt like a little kid that's younger than everyone around me, and who doesn't look my age (this past weekend someone guessed it at 21...they were three years off). I suppose this is part of being the baby of the family, but another part of it is not believing I'm actually an adult now, I guess? But then I have days like today where I'm super responsible and I realize, yeah, I actually am one! I mean, I even made myself a full dinner from my new Giada book (with lunch for the next two days) and cleaned out my fridge. I did, however, neglect the laundry for another day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finally get some rest, catch up on some New Girl and perhaps binge watch the last season of Mad Men. Anyone else stoked for April 7th?
I'll preface this discussion by saying, I rarely get sick. And then I moved to New York City. I had to take a few sick days last year (something I NEVER did at any part-time job), and I've taken two this year. One was in January when I was 90% sure I had strep throat (the doctor said otherwise, but then again I had to wait a few days to see him. I still think I had it during that time), and today for the freakin' common cold.
I never get colds, I get "sinus issues." My nose runs, my throat hurts, I get pressure in my head, and it's gone in a day. I woke up Monday feeling like crap and blamed it on the weather. And then yesterday I woke up feeling worse and weak and could not stop sneezing. I knew I hadn't suddenly developed some crazy allergy, but WebMD did tell me I have the common cold. For once it didn't tell me I was going to die.
So when I woke up and got ready today feeling like death, I knew it was time to stay home before I got the whole office sick. I also had a boatload of work to do.
I went back to bed for awhile to the discontent of my cat who loves routines, like me waking up at 7, but definitely needed that extra hour and a half. Then I made a to-do list on my computer and got to work.
Working form home has always sounded ideal to me. I don't have to worry about getting to or from work, I get to be comfortable, I could work out if I wanted to (not when I'm sick, obviously), my phone isn't constantly ringing...and as I daydream about this I always think, "nah I'll never get anything done like that, I'll eat my weight in junk and just be on Facebook all day."
Seriously, I've never been so productive. Seriously! First of all, I didn't turn the TV on at all, just had some music on while I read through articles for a newsletter. No one was calling me, I was able to focus on one thing at a time, the lighting in my apartment is much better than the fluorescent stuff that's prevalent in every office...it was perfect. Granted, there are certain things that I can only do at my office, like submitting invoices and whatnot, but those things that I never made it off my to-do list earlier this week? Done!
I learned a few things about myself today. For one, I don't have ADD. Sometimes with everything going on in an office, I feel like I don't actually have the capacity to focus on one thing at a time. But with all the distractions that my own apartment can tempt me with, I was able to put it all aside and just get things done. I also learned that I can get more done while not feeling stressed out. When I am stressed out, I hide it because who wants to work with the girl that's freaking out? No one. But hiding it doesn't help either. What I need to do from here on out is just take a deep breath and prioritize. Sometimes that means rearranging my to-do list to accommodate new projects, and that's ok.
I also learned that sick days as an adult are completely different from sick days during school. Despite how crappy I feel, I knew I couldn't just let everything slide today. I couldn't sit around watching Spongebob all morning...ok, so I did watch SOME Spongebob, but what's a sick day without cartoons? At least I didn't take an hour break at 11 am to catch The Price is Right.
I suppose the overarching lesson here is that when you actually stop and look at yourself, you realize how much you've grown. I've always felt like a little kid that's younger than everyone around me, and who doesn't look my age (this past weekend someone guessed it at 21...they were three years off). I suppose this is part of being the baby of the family, but another part of it is not believing I'm actually an adult now, I guess? But then I have days like today where I'm super responsible and I realize, yeah, I actually am one! I mean, I even made myself a full dinner from my new Giada book (with lunch for the next two days) and cleaned out my fridge. I did, however, neglect the laundry for another day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finally get some rest, catch up on some New Girl and perhaps binge watch the last season of Mad Men. Anyone else stoked for April 7th?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Things I'm Currently Loving...
I've decided that these types of posts need to happen about once a month. Sometimes, I just need to gush about my current obsessions, and see who else out there is as crazy in love with them as I am.
If you couldn't tell by my writing (or my bio), I'm really into pop culture. I live in New York, but I splurge on cable (which no one here apparently has...most don't have TVs...Come on people get with it!) because I can't bear to miss my shows. Plus I kind of feel like I should watch the major awards shows so I can be up on things that have to do with my job. I also still have a crazy collection of physical CDs, and though I do embrace digital as well (sup, Spotify?), I'm not getting rid of these babies any time soon.
So what am I currently loving? Let's talk...
Girls
I know, I know, I was late jumping on the Girls bandwagon. But see, even though I have a TV and cable, I did not spring for HBO, and I refuse to download anything illegally. So I had to wait for season one to be available for purchase, and went for it on Amazon Instant Video. I then proceeded to watch the entire season in three days (yeah I know, it's ten 30-minute episodes, but it's a true 30 minutes, no commercial breaks). I then became obsessed...and watched the season through more times than I care to share with you...
I love Girls because it's Sex and the City but for me. I wasn't old enough to watch the latter in its hey-dey, and my older sister was very into it so it never felt like mine. And I really just can't relate to those characters. But Girls, I actually KNOW those girls! I went to college with those girls. I was in their shoes when I worked a crappy job right after college to pay the bills. I live in New York and know how hard it is to figure out who you are in this city full of people trying to find themselves.
In fact, it was Hannah Horvath herself who said, "We're slaves to a city that doesn't even want us." Amen, girl. Don't even get me started on my love for Lena Dunham. I think her writing is genius. It's created everything I've ever wanted in a show. Even though I want to be Marnie (or at least look like her), my favorite has to be Shoshanna. My first introduction to Zosia Mamet was as Joyce in Mad Men, so seeing her as Shosh has solidified her place in my top favorite actors.
Also don't get me started on the music in this show. Whoever is the music supervisor has done a FANTASTIC job. Which leads me to my next obsession...
"Dancing On My Own" by Robyn
I was eight-years-old when Robyn walked into my life. She wanted to be shown love, but now our girl, is in the corner watching you kiss "her." C'mon dude! I like to think of my regular music diet as a well-balanced decadent meal filled with things you've probably never heard of (because sometimes my inner hipster comes out and thinks she's better than you), but this song is the sticky-sweet dessert that I eat an entire pint of at home on my couch. Seriously, I probably listen to this song at least twice a day, and I have no shame. I also lip-synch to it at my desk while bobbing my head, wishing I was jumping around and belting it out.
The Fact That Hockey Season Is Back
I feel no need to defend my love of hockey. Don't try to tell me it's terrible and that nobody cares about it because I can show you a major city where a vast majority cares about it. That place is Buffalo and my team is the Sabres.
I didn't pay much attention to the details of the lockout. I knew it was about money. I didn't really care, I just really wanted to watch some of my favorite sport. And so now that it's back, I'm elated. And the Sabres can do no wrong by me.
In fact, they never really have. Yeah, they've had some pretty off seasons, but you'll never hear me badmouthing them. They're my team! They're also humans who aren't perfect! One of the most annoying things I've found about sports fans is how quickly they can turn on their team or say that they suck. Really? Can you go out there and do a better job? Can you sprint down the ice, dodge five opponents and score a perfect goal? Then shut up and stop clogging my news feed with your garbage. JUST BE HAPPY FOR THIS GIFT FROM THE HOCKEY GODS.
Buzzfeed.com
Alright this isn't a new obsession, but it's certainly gotten out of hand as of late. I used to read the occasional article on here, but now it's part of my regular website lineup. For those that don't have one of these, it's the order of websites I visit when I first turn on my computer when I get home from work. It goes a little something like this:
And then I go on Pinterest and realize that I really do have a problem.
This Video...
I get this song stuck in my head every. single. day. I'm not kidding. At least once a day I hear, "This is how bacon is supPOSed to be" in my head, and when I get excited about something, I just want to go, "daaamn, Daaamn, DAAAMMMN!" That's really all there is to it. It still isn't old to me. I found out about it last year....
That covers the major stuff. We'll explore more next month.
If you couldn't tell by my writing (or my bio), I'm really into pop culture. I live in New York, but I splurge on cable (which no one here apparently has...most don't have TVs...Come on people get with it!) because I can't bear to miss my shows. Plus I kind of feel like I should watch the major awards shows so I can be up on things that have to do with my job. I also still have a crazy collection of physical CDs, and though I do embrace digital as well (sup, Spotify?), I'm not getting rid of these babies any time soon.
So what am I currently loving? Let's talk...
Girls
I know, I know, I was late jumping on the Girls bandwagon. But see, even though I have a TV and cable, I did not spring for HBO, and I refuse to download anything illegally. So I had to wait for season one to be available for purchase, and went for it on Amazon Instant Video. I then proceeded to watch the entire season in three days (yeah I know, it's ten 30-minute episodes, but it's a true 30 minutes, no commercial breaks). I then became obsessed...and watched the season through more times than I care to share with you...
I love Girls because it's Sex and the City but for me. I wasn't old enough to watch the latter in its hey-dey, and my older sister was very into it so it never felt like mine. And I really just can't relate to those characters. But Girls, I actually KNOW those girls! I went to college with those girls. I was in their shoes when I worked a crappy job right after college to pay the bills. I live in New York and know how hard it is to figure out who you are in this city full of people trying to find themselves.
In fact, it was Hannah Horvath herself who said, "We're slaves to a city that doesn't even want us." Amen, girl. Don't even get me started on my love for Lena Dunham. I think her writing is genius. It's created everything I've ever wanted in a show. Even though I want to be Marnie (or at least look like her), my favorite has to be Shoshanna. My first introduction to Zosia Mamet was as Joyce in Mad Men, so seeing her as Shosh has solidified her place in my top favorite actors.
Also don't get me started on the music in this show. Whoever is the music supervisor has done a FANTASTIC job. Which leads me to my next obsession...
"Dancing On My Own" by Robyn
I was eight-years-old when Robyn walked into my life. She wanted to be shown love, but now our girl, is in the corner watching you kiss "her." C'mon dude! I like to think of my regular music diet as a well-balanced decadent meal filled with things you've probably never heard of (because sometimes my inner hipster comes out and thinks she's better than you), but this song is the sticky-sweet dessert that I eat an entire pint of at home on my couch. Seriously, I probably listen to this song at least twice a day, and I have no shame. I also lip-synch to it at my desk while bobbing my head, wishing I was jumping around and belting it out.
The Fact That Hockey Season Is Back
I feel no need to defend my love of hockey. Don't try to tell me it's terrible and that nobody cares about it because I can show you a major city where a vast majority cares about it. That place is Buffalo and my team is the Sabres.
In fact, they never really have. Yeah, they've had some pretty off seasons, but you'll never hear me badmouthing them. They're my team! They're also humans who aren't perfect! One of the most annoying things I've found about sports fans is how quickly they can turn on their team or say that they suck. Really? Can you go out there and do a better job? Can you sprint down the ice, dodge five opponents and score a perfect goal? Then shut up and stop clogging my news feed with your garbage. JUST BE HAPPY FOR THIS GIFT FROM THE HOCKEY GODS.
Buzzfeed.com
Alright this isn't a new obsession, but it's certainly gotten out of hand as of late. I used to read the occasional article on here, but now it's part of my regular website lineup. For those that don't have one of these, it's the order of websites I visit when I first turn on my computer when I get home from work. It goes a little something like this:
- Yahoo Mail (because yes, I still have an account)
- What Should We Call Me? tumblr
- How Sweet It Is
- Buzzfeed
And then I go on Pinterest and realize that I really do have a problem.
This Video...
I get this song stuck in my head every. single. day. I'm not kidding. At least once a day I hear, "This is how bacon is supPOSed to be" in my head, and when I get excited about something, I just want to go, "daaamn, Daaamn, DAAAMMMN!" That's really all there is to it. It still isn't old to me. I found out about it last year....
That covers the major stuff. We'll explore more next month.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
On Loving Yo Body....
There was only one point in my life where I actually felt like a skinny girl.
It was 2008 to 2009, into part of 2010. I had made it through my freshman year of college and came back home with 30 lbs that weren't invited. Life is hard when Ben & Jerry's is too readily available and you and your friends like to eat your feelings.
I decided to turn this around, joined Weight Watchers and started working with a trainer. Come field hockey pre-season, I had lost 10 lbs in a healthy way. At the end of pre-season, I was down another 5. By Christmas, I had lost all 30 that I gained and then some.
I thought I looked good, people told me I looked good, guys talked to me suddenly, I was basically on top of the world. And then doctors told me I had to gain weight due to some health complications (sup female athlete triad?)...and I felt like everything I worked so hard for was being torn away from me.
Three years later and wiser, I can confirm that I definitely had an eating disorder. When you work out everyday and only eat half your allotted Weight Watchers points, you have a problem.
It took a long time to get over not being the skinny girl anymore and looking (and fitting) into anything I wanted. It felt like I was out of control because I couldn't have the same amount of control over my eating and exercising schedules. In fact, it's taken all of these three years to get over it. My friends all have normal bodies, my sisters are both skinny, I live in New York City....working in the music industry...
Yeah, there have been a few times since having to gain weight back that I could've spared to lose a few pounds (especially after meeting my boyfriend who bonded with me over our love of food), but I've come to realize that you just have to accept your body at some point. I can guarantee it will add a lot of happiness to your life.
Something that helps? Surrounding yourself with people who love you despite your looks. My boyfriend is basically the reason that I ever started to even like my body. He's told me I'm perfect even after I've devoured a plate of wings and fries and downed a few beers and have developed a food baby. And then there's my family who has always told me my thunder thighs are a sign of strength, gained from years of field hockey, volleyball and Irish dancing. These people have always told me I don't need to change, and I've started to believe them a little bit.
Another thing that helps? Realizing that most of the celebrities whose bodies you want are Photoshopped, starved, airbrushed or vegan. Sorry Carrie Underwood, but I love bacon too much to ever have your body.
What else? Accepting that everyone has a different body shape and type. Of course I'm never going to look like my sisters. We're all built totally different. They have actual waists, and the bottom of my ribs are a mere inch from the top of my hip bones.
You might think that I've had this awesome self image for a while now. Hellllll no. I've fought my hips and thighs and height my entire life. We didn't work so well together in high school when I wanted to be a punk little skater or when my friends came over to swim. I battled them in college during field hockey when everyone else's spandex skirts looked great on them and mine looked like a casing on a sausage. And I most certainly didn't get along with them during last year's awards season when I tried to look like a celebrity in my sparkly dresses...and just looked like me.
But on Tuesday when I wore a sweater dress with leggings and high-heel boots for my birthday, I looked in the mirror and thought, "damn!" Yeah, I'm never going to be seen as some fragile little girl that can rock any pair of skinny jeans, but at least I look like a woman. When I was at my skinniest, some adults actually told me that I looked like a child, and I don't really know how my boyfriend would feel about dating one. At 24, I've decided to embrace these curves, and seriously, they could be much worse.
If it weren't for these thighs and this butt, I couldn't power my way up the hills during my long runs. I couldn't run up the stairs of the subway to jolt my day. And these calves look killer in heels.
I can preach this all day, but every girl needs to have their epiphany moment to really get it. Hell, I heard it for 24 years and it was falling on deaf ears. I know I'll never be a supermodel or get mistaken for Giada DeLaurentiis. I've accepted that my body is the type they would shove in some booty shorts and be told to "shake it" in a rap video, and though I have no intention of ever doing that, I'm ok with it.
In short, ladies, stop pulling a Plastics and picking out all your imperfections. Do as Seventeen magazine has always encouraged you to do and embrace it! Work it! BE AWESOME.
Also, get it right, get it tight.
It was 2008 to 2009, into part of 2010. I had made it through my freshman year of college and came back home with 30 lbs that weren't invited. Life is hard when Ben & Jerry's is too readily available and you and your friends like to eat your feelings.
I decided to turn this around, joined Weight Watchers and started working with a trainer. Come field hockey pre-season, I had lost 10 lbs in a healthy way. At the end of pre-season, I was down another 5. By Christmas, I had lost all 30 that I gained and then some.
I thought I looked good, people told me I looked good, guys talked to me suddenly, I was basically on top of the world. And then doctors told me I had to gain weight due to some health complications (sup female athlete triad?)...and I felt like everything I worked so hard for was being torn away from me.
Three years later and wiser, I can confirm that I definitely had an eating disorder. When you work out everyday and only eat half your allotted Weight Watchers points, you have a problem.
It took a long time to get over not being the skinny girl anymore and looking (and fitting) into anything I wanted. It felt like I was out of control because I couldn't have the same amount of control over my eating and exercising schedules. In fact, it's taken all of these three years to get over it. My friends all have normal bodies, my sisters are both skinny, I live in New York City....working in the music industry...
Yeah, there have been a few times since having to gain weight back that I could've spared to lose a few pounds (especially after meeting my boyfriend who bonded with me over our love of food), but I've come to realize that you just have to accept your body at some point. I can guarantee it will add a lot of happiness to your life.
Something that helps? Surrounding yourself with people who love you despite your looks. My boyfriend is basically the reason that I ever started to even like my body. He's told me I'm perfect even after I've devoured a plate of wings and fries and downed a few beers and have developed a food baby. And then there's my family who has always told me my thunder thighs are a sign of strength, gained from years of field hockey, volleyball and Irish dancing. These people have always told me I don't need to change, and I've started to believe them a little bit.
Another thing that helps? Realizing that most of the celebrities whose bodies you want are Photoshopped, starved, airbrushed or vegan. Sorry Carrie Underwood, but I love bacon too much to ever have your body.
What else? Accepting that everyone has a different body shape and type. Of course I'm never going to look like my sisters. We're all built totally different. They have actual waists, and the bottom of my ribs are a mere inch from the top of my hip bones.
You might think that I've had this awesome self image for a while now. Hellllll no. I've fought my hips and thighs and height my entire life. We didn't work so well together in high school when I wanted to be a punk little skater or when my friends came over to swim. I battled them in college during field hockey when everyone else's spandex skirts looked great on them and mine looked like a casing on a sausage. And I most certainly didn't get along with them during last year's awards season when I tried to look like a celebrity in my sparkly dresses...and just looked like me.
But on Tuesday when I wore a sweater dress with leggings and high-heel boots for my birthday, I looked in the mirror and thought, "damn!" Yeah, I'm never going to be seen as some fragile little girl that can rock any pair of skinny jeans, but at least I look like a woman. When I was at my skinniest, some adults actually told me that I looked like a child, and I don't really know how my boyfriend would feel about dating one. At 24, I've decided to embrace these curves, and seriously, they could be much worse.
If it weren't for these thighs and this butt, I couldn't power my way up the hills during my long runs. I couldn't run up the stairs of the subway to jolt my day. And these calves look killer in heels.
I can preach this all day, but every girl needs to have their epiphany moment to really get it. Hell, I heard it for 24 years and it was falling on deaf ears. I know I'll never be a supermodel or get mistaken for Giada DeLaurentiis. I've accepted that my body is the type they would shove in some booty shorts and be told to "shake it" in a rap video, and though I have no intention of ever doing that, I'm ok with it.
In short, ladies, stop pulling a Plastics and picking out all your imperfections. Do as Seventeen magazine has always encouraged you to do and embrace it! Work it! BE AWESOME.
Also, get it right, get it tight.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
On Train Rides and Social Media...
I'm being a terrible person right now.
I'm on a train back to New York City with one perfectly empty seat next to mine, and I've filled it with my bags and coat and scarf. And as people come walking down the aisle looking for a seat, I don't stop looking at my computer. Oh, and my headphones are in, listening to Grouplove's "Itchin' on a Photograph," pretending to be a really important person whose stuff is worthy of its own seat. How bad do you want that seat next to mine? Enough to speak to me? Enough to tap my shoulder as Christian Zucconi screams into my ears? I dare you. Be warned, the icy stare you receive at interrupting my jam sesh may turn you to stone.
C'mon people, I live in New York City! My personal space is invaded on a daily basis without so much as an "excuse me." PLEASE let me have these two and a half hours to sprawl in a space that doesn't cost me over $1000 a month in rent.
The funny part of all this? Most people won't bother to interrupt me. Ooooh that girl has headphones in…so I would like, have to talk to her? Do you know her number so I could text her? Send her an email? Anything aside from uttering a few words?
Why are we all so scared of interacting? I'll admit in a work setting I'll send an email to someone before giving them a call, but that's because I assume they're hard at work and would hate to be interrupted by a phone call. But if I see a space on a subway train that could be occupied by me, I say things like, "Excuse me, can I please go through here?"
The best example of this that I saw was at the gym last week. I go to a women-only gym, not by choice, but because that's where I got a free membership. I'm not intimidated to work out around guys. Yeah, the screaming and grunting while they get their swell on is obnoxious, but it's also hilarious. And I love showing them that you CAN lift a heavy weight without turning into the Hulk. I'm also waiting for the day that they realize if you have to scream to lift it, then you're not ready for it. Ya heard?
Anyway, all the lockers were filled by the time I got to the gym - there was a large class in session, it happens - so I got changed while waiting and watched for people coming back to take their stuff out. I was the only one who ventured to ask people if they were done with their lockers, and guess who got a locker before everyone else meandering around with bitch faces on? Yup, me. The others were ready to battle to the death the minute a locker became available (I know this because one girl just about pounced on the one I was about to take AFTER I ASKED THE WOMAN IF SHE WAS DONE and exchanged in some friendly banter), rather than asking one question. Are we really that impersonal now?
Even as an introvert, I find this weird. I'm able to hold off on texting someone until I'm done walking, but others have their faces buried SO deep in their phones that I'm pretty sure they're attached. Plus, have you tried to have a full conversation via text? It's the worst thing ever. Pick up the freaking phone and use it for its primary function.
This also has limits. Are you on a train with hundred of other people that are likely uninterested in your discussion? Then it's probably not a great time to have it. Are both of your hands free and available while walking around a department store but you've decided to use speakerphone? I hope you love furrowed brows in your direction, and I really hope you're not getting personal health information from your doctor right now. Sound far-fetched? Nope, I've lived this. We're so impersonal when we need to have a one-on-one face-to-face conversation, but give us a few hundred miles space or the biggest public forum of all time - the Internet - and we'll spill it ALL!
Let's look at Facebook, shall we? Remember away messages? Those things you used to tell people why you weren't currently there speaking with them via IM? Probably ok to give a run down of your day in case someone needs to ask you an important question and that's the only way they can get in touch with you. But no one needs to see that on Facebook. Knowing that you've got to do laundry, homework, catch up on Breaking Bad, make dinner, then head to bed for an early day tomorrow does nothing for me or you. It's not even witty. Please, if you're going to tell me something unbelievably boring, throw in some wit! Facebook status also shouldn't be used as pity parties. Don't give me crap like, "Why can't something go right just for once?" or - the worst - "Sigh…" I promise I will not say "ZOMG WHAT'S WRONG?!?!" But I will think you're a huge tool.
Are you having a bad day? Don't try to make me feel bad for you, and at the same time, don't tell me something incredibly personal that you wouldn't say in front of a group of people.
No one seems to remember that social networks are public and that unless you've spent a good amount of time twerkin' your privacy settings, we're all going to see everything. You know a good way to keep yourself in check? Become Facebook friends with your parents, aunts and uncles. Would you say that in front of them? No? You wouldn't tell them that you got soooooo high last night and woke up in an unfamiliar place? You wouldn't say f*** the police ima do what I want? Then don't say it on Facebook!
Update: just made it through round two of new passengers. I'm a little too good at this…and for the record, if they asked if someone was sitting here, I would tell them no and move my stuff.
I know I preach to the choir when it comes to my rants on social interaction. Most people I'm close with believe these same things, and perhaps that's why we're so close, because we actually pick up the phone to say "Happy birthday" or we ask them to hang out if we need to work out a personal problem. Not that there's anything wrong with a wall post here and there. I do enjoy those especially if it involves some somewhat-inside joke that others can get a good laugh from.
I just wish people would take a step outside themselves and realize how ridiculous they're being. I have to do it from time to time. If I get stuck in a really horrible funk, I take a step back and think about the amazing people in my life, my fantastic job, the fact that I live in a city people are dying to even visit, and that puts it all in perspective for me. I also THINK about what I post on social networks before I actually hit that "Post" button…
Don't worry, I just took a step back now and laughed at my raving self. Life is so much harder if you take yourself too seriously.
Also, I made it through this entire train ride without having to move my stuff. Bri: 1, World: 0.
I'm on a train back to New York City with one perfectly empty seat next to mine, and I've filled it with my bags and coat and scarf. And as people come walking down the aisle looking for a seat, I don't stop looking at my computer. Oh, and my headphones are in, listening to Grouplove's "Itchin' on a Photograph," pretending to be a really important person whose stuff is worthy of its own seat. How bad do you want that seat next to mine? Enough to speak to me? Enough to tap my shoulder as Christian Zucconi screams into my ears? I dare you. Be warned, the icy stare you receive at interrupting my jam sesh may turn you to stone.
C'mon people, I live in New York City! My personal space is invaded on a daily basis without so much as an "excuse me." PLEASE let me have these two and a half hours to sprawl in a space that doesn't cost me over $1000 a month in rent.
The funny part of all this? Most people won't bother to interrupt me. Ooooh that girl has headphones in…so I would like, have to talk to her? Do you know her number so I could text her? Send her an email? Anything aside from uttering a few words?
Why are we all so scared of interacting? I'll admit in a work setting I'll send an email to someone before giving them a call, but that's because I assume they're hard at work and would hate to be interrupted by a phone call. But if I see a space on a subway train that could be occupied by me, I say things like, "Excuse me, can I please go through here?"
The best example of this that I saw was at the gym last week. I go to a women-only gym, not by choice, but because that's where I got a free membership. I'm not intimidated to work out around guys. Yeah, the screaming and grunting while they get their swell on is obnoxious, but it's also hilarious. And I love showing them that you CAN lift a heavy weight without turning into the Hulk. I'm also waiting for the day that they realize if you have to scream to lift it, then you're not ready for it. Ya heard?
Anyway, all the lockers were filled by the time I got to the gym - there was a large class in session, it happens - so I got changed while waiting and watched for people coming back to take their stuff out. I was the only one who ventured to ask people if they were done with their lockers, and guess who got a locker before everyone else meandering around with bitch faces on? Yup, me. The others were ready to battle to the death the minute a locker became available (I know this because one girl just about pounced on the one I was about to take AFTER I ASKED THE WOMAN IF SHE WAS DONE and exchanged in some friendly banter), rather than asking one question. Are we really that impersonal now?
Even as an introvert, I find this weird. I'm able to hold off on texting someone until I'm done walking, but others have their faces buried SO deep in their phones that I'm pretty sure they're attached. Plus, have you tried to have a full conversation via text? It's the worst thing ever. Pick up the freaking phone and use it for its primary function.
This also has limits. Are you on a train with hundred of other people that are likely uninterested in your discussion? Then it's probably not a great time to have it. Are both of your hands free and available while walking around a department store but you've decided to use speakerphone? I hope you love furrowed brows in your direction, and I really hope you're not getting personal health information from your doctor right now. Sound far-fetched? Nope, I've lived this. We're so impersonal when we need to have a one-on-one face-to-face conversation, but give us a few hundred miles space or the biggest public forum of all time - the Internet - and we'll spill it ALL!
Let's look at Facebook, shall we? Remember away messages? Those things you used to tell people why you weren't currently there speaking with them via IM? Probably ok to give a run down of your day in case someone needs to ask you an important question and that's the only way they can get in touch with you. But no one needs to see that on Facebook. Knowing that you've got to do laundry, homework, catch up on Breaking Bad, make dinner, then head to bed for an early day tomorrow does nothing for me or you. It's not even witty. Please, if you're going to tell me something unbelievably boring, throw in some wit! Facebook status also shouldn't be used as pity parties. Don't give me crap like, "Why can't something go right just for once?" or - the worst - "Sigh…" I promise I will not say "ZOMG WHAT'S WRONG?!?!" But I will think you're a huge tool.
Are you having a bad day? Don't try to make me feel bad for you, and at the same time, don't tell me something incredibly personal that you wouldn't say in front of a group of people.
No one seems to remember that social networks are public and that unless you've spent a good amount of time twerkin' your privacy settings, we're all going to see everything. You know a good way to keep yourself in check? Become Facebook friends with your parents, aunts and uncles. Would you say that in front of them? No? You wouldn't tell them that you got soooooo high last night and woke up in an unfamiliar place? You wouldn't say f*** the police ima do what I want? Then don't say it on Facebook!
Update: just made it through round two of new passengers. I'm a little too good at this…and for the record, if they asked if someone was sitting here, I would tell them no and move my stuff.
I know I preach to the choir when it comes to my rants on social interaction. Most people I'm close with believe these same things, and perhaps that's why we're so close, because we actually pick up the phone to say "Happy birthday" or we ask them to hang out if we need to work out a personal problem. Not that there's anything wrong with a wall post here and there. I do enjoy those especially if it involves some somewhat-inside joke that others can get a good laugh from.
I just wish people would take a step outside themselves and realize how ridiculous they're being. I have to do it from time to time. If I get stuck in a really horrible funk, I take a step back and think about the amazing people in my life, my fantastic job, the fact that I live in a city people are dying to even visit, and that puts it all in perspective for me. I also THINK about what I post on social networks before I actually hit that "Post" button…
Don't worry, I just took a step back now and laughed at my raving self. Life is so much harder if you take yourself too seriously.
Also, I made it through this entire train ride without having to move my stuff. Bri: 1, World: 0.
On More Days Off and Early Birthday Presents...
I'm pretty sure every day off for me will be spent like a day off in college.
Last weekend (as I may have previously stated) I didn't have plans and spent most of it in sweatpants on my couch. I also watched Spongebob Squarepants and took a nap. And then I ordered pizza and wings, cracked open a beer and watched the Buffalo Sabres game. I swear I'm a girl and not a bro.
Today had much of the same, but was also incredibly awesome. So I'm "upstate" right now (I say "upstate" because everyone in New York City considers the rest of New York "upstate," but the Capital Region isn't really that far north, and so I add the quotes. The real upstate to me would be like, the Adirondacks), and my birthday is Tuesday. When people ask what I want for my birthday, I try to think of things I need first. So naturally my list was comprised of a new cell phone case, a toiletry bag and tickets to see Beyonce. I also desperately needed a new laptop.
I bought my first laptop with money form my high school graduation party. It was my most prized possession. It was a brand new MacBook, this beautiful little perfectly white 13" chic computer, and I was the only one of my roommates that had a Mac. We had been through a lot: the whole "becoming an adult" thing, that time my hard drive fried the ONE time I used Limewire to make the warm-up CD for my field hockey team, moving to New York, Hurricane Sandy (where it lost a few keys from a cat that was sick of me being at home on my computer for a week). And then the tech world decided that my now six-year-old computer was too elderly for any sort of update, leaving me without Flash and without much needed improvement to my applications.
So I figured I would use my tax return to finance a new one...and then because of a payroll glitch I ended up owing to the state which consumed my entire federal return. Really awesome, yeah?
My parents and boyfriend both dropped hints about buying me a new one for my birthday, but I shrugged them off, telling them it was too expensive for either party to buy on their own. I'm pretty independent too, so I was bummed that I couldn't do this on my own and figured my next laptop wouldn't come around for a couple years.
Basically, I was completely caught off guard today when my boyfriend brought me into the Apple store and told me that he and my parents bought me a new MacBook Pro for my birthday. I actually felt like I might cry, but I played it cool. I'm using the new computer now aaaaand I'm kind of in love with it.
So the bf also bought me a new laptop bag and a $50 Steam gift card, and we put a bunch of games on a wish list for me, and then he went to work and I took a three-hour nap. THREE. HOURS. Who does that? It was a nap filled with weird dreams too, of course, because I was under 10 blankets and started to sweat and had weird 10-blanket-fever-induced dreams. And then I woke up and ordered chicken wings.
The weird thing about me and chicken wings is that I didn't really eat them a lot in Buffalo, and then when I moved away I ate them a lot and judged them harshly. The boyfriend told me I had to try these PB&J wings from a place called Basil City around here, and my first thought was, "I only do hot wings." And when I really thought about it, I realized that the savory sweet combination could work. And guys, it totally does. Plus Basil City makes CRISPY WINGS. That is so hard to come by outside of Buffalo! Especially when you don't get them right at the restaurant. The delivery trip almost always gets the wings all soggy and gross. Not this time.
Shopping. Food. Naps. Portlandia season two...yeah, days off rock. And so do new computers!
Last weekend (as I may have previously stated) I didn't have plans and spent most of it in sweatpants on my couch. I also watched Spongebob Squarepants and took a nap. And then I ordered pizza and wings, cracked open a beer and watched the Buffalo Sabres game. I swear I'm a girl and not a bro.
Today had much of the same, but was also incredibly awesome. So I'm "upstate" right now (I say "upstate" because everyone in New York City considers the rest of New York "upstate," but the Capital Region isn't really that far north, and so I add the quotes. The real upstate to me would be like, the Adirondacks), and my birthday is Tuesday. When people ask what I want for my birthday, I try to think of things I need first. So naturally my list was comprised of a new cell phone case, a toiletry bag and tickets to see Beyonce. I also desperately needed a new laptop.
I bought my first laptop with money form my high school graduation party. It was my most prized possession. It was a brand new MacBook, this beautiful little perfectly white 13" chic computer, and I was the only one of my roommates that had a Mac. We had been through a lot: the whole "becoming an adult" thing, that time my hard drive fried the ONE time I used Limewire to make the warm-up CD for my field hockey team, moving to New York, Hurricane Sandy (where it lost a few keys from a cat that was sick of me being at home on my computer for a week). And then the tech world decided that my now six-year-old computer was too elderly for any sort of update, leaving me without Flash and without much needed improvement to my applications.
So I figured I would use my tax return to finance a new one...and then because of a payroll glitch I ended up owing to the state which consumed my entire federal return. Really awesome, yeah?
My parents and boyfriend both dropped hints about buying me a new one for my birthday, but I shrugged them off, telling them it was too expensive for either party to buy on their own. I'm pretty independent too, so I was bummed that I couldn't do this on my own and figured my next laptop wouldn't come around for a couple years.
Basically, I was completely caught off guard today when my boyfriend brought me into the Apple store and told me that he and my parents bought me a new MacBook Pro for my birthday. I actually felt like I might cry, but I played it cool. I'm using the new computer now aaaaand I'm kind of in love with it.
So the bf also bought me a new laptop bag and a $50 Steam gift card, and we put a bunch of games on a wish list for me, and then he went to work and I took a three-hour nap. THREE. HOURS. Who does that? It was a nap filled with weird dreams too, of course, because I was under 10 blankets and started to sweat and had weird 10-blanket-fever-induced dreams. And then I woke up and ordered chicken wings.
The weird thing about me and chicken wings is that I didn't really eat them a lot in Buffalo, and then when I moved away I ate them a lot and judged them harshly. The boyfriend told me I had to try these PB&J wings from a place called Basil City around here, and my first thought was, "I only do hot wings." And when I really thought about it, I realized that the savory sweet combination could work. And guys, it totally does. Plus Basil City makes CRISPY WINGS. That is so hard to come by outside of Buffalo! Especially when you don't get them right at the restaurant. The delivery trip almost always gets the wings all soggy and gross. Not this time.
Shopping. Food. Naps. Portlandia season two...yeah, days off rock. And so do new computers!
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