On Self-Doubt, Over Indulgence, and Strong Umbrellas...

So I did something stupid the other day.

I started writing a blog post that had an actual theme and sense of direction...and then I thought it was stupid and I erased it. And then I thought about it today and realized there are many more stupid things on the Internet than my thoughts on inspiration (which is what the blog was about).

Yeah, the Internet is full of useless, unwarranted opinions and ideas, but unless I write a blog post that says, "sigh..." or "I wish I wasn't sick," then I'm really not doing any harm, right? And I suppose if I'm not making it any worse, then I should just post what I want?

What I'm getting at is that self-doubt is one of the worst deterrents to creativity...and it's kind of my downfall. If you're going to pursue something creative, you have to put yourself out there and not everyone will agree with you, or like what you do, or find any value in it. But I think there's value in taking that plunge, because a lot of people aren't willing to do that.

The Internet is the biggest audience available to everyone, and it's so easy for people to be critical on here. Not that anyone is going to come across my little personal blog, but I guess it terrifies me to think that someone would come on here and call me out on being wrong/stupid/wrong/uninformed/wrong....yeah I really don't like when people flat-out tell me I'm wrong unless it's some concrete fact that I've flubbed. It comes from past experience of trying to put my two cents in on forums and comment sections that I didn't know were unofficial exclusive clubs. I digress.

I realize that everyone won't find what I say interesting, but I guess they don't have to read then? And so that's why I thought I would give you all this super important vital information tonight.

If you ever visit me when I haven't planned to have people over or didn't plan on staying in with visitors, then you'll know that I rarely have snacks in my apartment. I always tell people it's because I'll eat them all very quickly, and they laugh and say something like, "don't we all!" No, I don't think we all do like I do. I decided to indulge during my last Trader Joe's visit figuring it's better to treat myself to a snack rather than going crazy (even though it's been a LONG time since I've bought snacks), and when I saw their caramelized onion dip sitting there looking delicious on the shelf (and it reminded me of this dip that I make using reduced-fat items rather than fat-free ones that can make things taste fake), I had to do it. You can't have dip without chips, so I opted for their crinkle-cut salt and pepper chips.

I bought these on Sunday...that BIG bag of chips I bought is now halfway gone...I ate most of them tonight.

You know, if you have to stay late at work for an event and don't feel like cooking when you get home, it's not a good idea to just go at that bag of chips like they're Ryan Gosling (even though I'm pretty sure he would say, "Hey girl, I can tell you've been working out, why don't you take a night off and treat yourself"). Because as you eat them faster and faster and add more and more of that delicious onion dip to each chip, you'll start to realize that you've eaten so many that they're starting to make you ill, and then you'll be thankful that you're not expecting any company because your breath definitely smells awesome now.

You also shouldn't follow up that chip fest with something sweet, especially if that "something sweet" is a package of pink Peep hearts, even if they're also delicious, because you WILL regret this combination. Seriously, I just brushed my teeth and stuck out my tongue and found it to be cartoon pink. And then I thought about the mixture of all the things I ate and once again felt ill.

Other things learned tonight: don't paint your nails if you don't have time for them to dry before you take a shower. In my defense, it was a dire nail painting situation. I have this gross nervous habit of biting my nails unless they're covered in polish, and I must have been really nervous about something (perhaps that I wouldn't get enough chips in my diet?) because my nails are dang short. So I took a break from writing this, watched a DVR-ed episode of New Girl and painted my nails without really looking at my nails because Zooey Deschanel is so damn charming, and it resulted in some gloppy looking blobs at the tips of my fingers. I fixed it up, added a gold accent nail to each hand of freshly painted black nails, added a top coat and then brushed the dirt off my shoulders because I was pretty proud of it all. Then half an hour later I took a shower and it all went to hell.

So now my nails look like I had them done by a five-year-old. Don't get your nails done by a five-year-old.

Another lesson I learned today, but in a positive way? If you're going to live in New York, get a sturdy umbrella. I have the best umbrella of all time, and it's from Wal-Mart of all places. It's clear and bubble-like, so I can pull it down to the point where it touches my head and still see where I'm going. It also doesn't get annihilated by the wind, and it proved itself tonight while I walked to the train in freezing rain and strong wind.

That pretty much covers all my important life lessons for the day. Hopefully you can all learn from these egregious mistakes. Oh, and don't forget to put yourself out there. We can only grow from it.

On Being an Adult on Days Off...

I just had the best lazy weekend ever. My cat was equalley stoked about me actually being around.

Don't get me wrong, staying busy is kind of my thing. I've been doing it since age five given all the extracurriculars I was involved in. As I've gotten older, I've narrowed my focus so rather than running from school to dance class to piano lessons and then softball the next day, I went to class, field hockey practice, newspapers meetings, night class and then studying. Now that I'm an "adult" (says the girl who just made grilled cheese for dinner and followed it up with half a chocolate bar for dessert), it's more like, wake up, work, come home, eat, lounge, sleep. But for some reason my weekends are always go, go, go. Since moving into my new apartment, I've either had visitors or been an visitor every weekend. This was my first weekend of NOTHING. Not that I don't love all you visitors or traveling, but sometimes you just seriously need to do nothing.

A snowy weekend is the best time for "nothing weekends" to happen.

Due to a nor'easter (because no, I'm not giving it a name), my office closed early on Friday, and apparently it was the perfect time for closing. Aside from having to use my umbrella as a shield against the wind on my three-block walk to the subway (if you ever move to New York, the best thing you can do is a buy a strong umbrella, which I'm really glad I have), my ride home was great. Usually I'm squished into a subway car like a sardine amongst other sardines that refuse to take their backpacks off or give up their seats for ladies carrying more than they are. But boarding the train at 3:15 pm gave me a seat and a quick and quiet ride. I wish this was my everyday.

I then proceeded to do nothing. I considered ordering in some food, then thought about how I would feel as a delivery person during a big winter storm, then thought about how I'm actually trying to save money, and decided against it. I made some random pasta dish that sufficed. Then I watched TV, worked on a huge crossword, got kind of bored and went to sleep.

Yesterday I was somewhat productive. I decided to really show what an adult I am and tackled my most hated chore, laundry. Laundry has always been the worst, mostly because since I started doing my own (yes, I didn't do my own laundry until college. Feel free to judge me), I've had to haul my laundry far enough to make it terrible. It was usually across a dorm building and down the stairs, or a block away to the laundromat (while hauling my laundry in grocery bags...because that's all I had as a non-paid intern), or bringing them down to the creepy basement of my last building that was probably a runner-up for the set of the Saw movies, and where I saw more than one cockroach. This building kind of rocks though. The elevator is around the corner from me, and then the laundry room is around the corner from there. Super easy, yeah?

Basically, I don't totally hate laundry anymore. Now I need a new chore to hate, because you have to hate one of them, right?

Oh, I also cleaned my whole apartment yesterday. There are advantages to living in a studio and cleaning more often than once a month. Good god, who am I?

Being from Buffalo, I'm a huge Buffalo sports fan, particularly when it comes to the Buffalo Sabres. You would think that being a New York state team they would be on occasionally in the city? Of course not. They play the New Jersey Devils games over the Sabres games. So I was pretty excited when I saw that my Sabres would be playing the New York Islanders this weekend, and expected them to be on TV.

I was wrong. MSG decided to play some show called Beginnings all day through my cable provider.

So I invited my two best friends in the city to join me at Red Star in Brooklyn to catch the game, have some beers and eat some bar food. I indulged in some wings and truffle fries. This place has the closest to Buffalo wings that I've had since leaving Buffalo. And the truffle fries are top notch. These are the two items I've ordered at this place both times I've been there, and I don't think I'll ever order anything else. What's even better? The Sabres won :)

I was also home before midnight, which rocks.

Today was probably the best day of this weekend (no offense, friends). I'm still in my pajamas as I type this at 7:15 pm. I finished season five of Dexter, threw some stuff in the crockpot for lunch for the week and made a grilled cheese. Seriously, that's all I've done today, and I'm not ashamed at all. I really needed to recharge after going, and going, and going for weeks. This was perfect.

And not to toot my own horn, but that crockpot meal is smelling like Flavor Town quality right now. If you've ever read the Song of Ice and Fire series (aka the Game of Thrones series), then you're well-aware of George R. R. Martin's food descriptions. This meal was inspired by it, because if I have to read about one more stewed onion covered in beef drippings without eating one, I'm gonna freak out. I didn't really follow a recipe for it, but I browned some beef, threw it in with some onions, carrots and garlic, then poured red wine and beef stock over top with salt, pepper and oregano. Sound good? The only other thing I have to do for it is make some orzo to accompany it.

Was this boring? Maybe it was. But what else are you supposed to write about on a personal blog? I don't really have any pressing issues to dissect, but maybe next time. Thanks for sticking with me :)

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams are Made of...

Hey there.

I'm Brianne (Bri) and you've stumbled upon my personal blog.

I've blogged about food for the past three or so years, and am currently in the process of revamping my food blog, and while brainstorming improvements, I decided to separate my random musings from my food revelations to keep the future food blog more focused.

And so, And What Would Bri Say? was born. You may be thinking, "what's with the name?" I had this pretty annoying tendency as a young child to ask too many questions. I would go to climb some unstable tower of toys or going running around our house's wooden floors wearing socks, and my parents would say something like, "Brianne stop! You're gonna fall and crack your head open!" And so the questions began: "And then what would you say? And what would Dad say? And what would my sisters say? And what would the dog say?" I figured by now it's time to hear what I would say.

A little about myself for those that don't know: I'm from Buffalo and have more hometown pride than I ever thought I would. I've lived in New York City for a year now. I have a bit of an obsession with music and am constantly thinking of what will be in my next meal. I run regularly for at least half the year while training for half marathons, the other half of the year is too cold, too dark and too consumed with work to really take it too seriously.

I suppose you'll learn more about me as this blog gets updated. It likely won't be on a regular basis, but we'll see what happens!

Thanks for reading this somewhat pointless intro, and stay tuned for more :)