On Procrastination...

Remember yesterday when I was crazy productive?

Yeah, we're no longer in Productiveland.

I thought it would be easier to write this speech for work while at home (after working a full day at the office), but there's just so much around me that I'd rather pay attention to. Did I mention that the first draft of the speech is due tomorrow?

No worries, about 75% of it is done. So I'm not completely screwed. But man, when writer's block strikes, it hits me hard. But I am writing right now...

But I can't write a speech like I blog. Especially for a top executive at my company, who is a male and doesn't talk like a 24-year-old girl. Maybe we should just get Lena Dunham to read the speech. Hell, let's have her write the speech too!

So I started off with the best of intentions tonight. I got home and turned on my computer and ordered plenty of food to power me through a killer speech. And then the Internet happened, and before I knew it I was trawling around Buzzfeed like it was Disneyland Paris (which I have never been to and have researched extensively. Ask my freshman year roommates).

And then I turned on the TV because I couldn't have complete silence and, lo and behold, Say Yes to the Dress was on in marathon form. Marathon. I can't resist this show. I will watch episodes over and over. Part of it is seeing girls try on dresses like they're doing it for me? Like, "oh that girl is tall and skinny and that dress looks amazing on her. I'm short and stout so we can cross that one off the list." I'm more partial to the Atlanta edition of the show, and would love for Lori and Monte to be my future bridal fairy godmothers, but I'll watch whatever version TLC is currently serving up.

Oh yeah, I'm not even engaged.

By the way, my food arrives during this time and rather than fueling me, it distracts me because I don't want to get pizza grease on my new computer. I also ate a meal suitable for carbing up before a long run. News flash: I'm still sick and definitely not going on a long run tomorrow...but now I definitely should. Maybe some yoga instead (though I'm not sure how I'd fare in an exercise that focuses on breathing when I currently can't).

I then looked at the speech, took out one line, hit save and continued on my procrastinating.

Whenever I watch Say Yes to the Dress, my next move is to log on to Pinterest and start planning the wedding of mine that won't be happening for years. I start by looking at what everyone I'm following has pinned, and then make a beeline for the Wedding section. And then I get bored quite fast because I've seen all these pins and no one is adding anything new. And I'm sick of seeing all these cutesy rhyming things at weddings. I don't want rhyming.

At this point my cat curled up in his new favorite spot that shouldn't be his new favorite spot. I had visitors this weekend and after folding up my futon, I left the sheets on the bottom half and the visitor pillows on one side of the futon. The cat LOVES laying on the pillows. Sadly, these can't stay there forever. I think he'll get over it because, you know, he's a cat and this apartment is his lounging oyster.

Mind you this speech still needs to be written.

I gave it another go before starting this entry. I added maybe two more sentences? And then I collapsed on the couch and rolled into a ball, looked at my cat and said, "I can't do this!"

And he looked at me like I'm crazy.

You can try to make me feel guilty in saying, "Brianne, you should've started this earlier." But I did! It's 75% done! And then I found out this week that the first draft will be due Friday, and I panicked! Have you ever tried writing when the words just won't come out? I imagine it's a lot like child birth, but with fewer stretch marks. I mean, I can write a really crappy speech when forced to, but the goal is to do it so well the first time that my boss will say, "don't change a thing, this is PERFECT, " and I'll walk away while brushing the dirt off my shoulders.

But this is writing, and the first draft is never perfect. And the first draft my boss sees will not be my actual first draft. It will at least be my third.

Why can't writing speeches for someone with more life and work experience than you come out as easily as a blog entry? Don't tell me, "because life's not easy." That's a stupid and easy excuse. I think the audience might find my style of speaking slightly more interesting, but as it sounds like a 24-year-old on her second year on the job, it wouldn't be all that trustworthy now would it?

Think it's time to get to business? You're probably right.

On Working From Home While Sick...

I just followed up a really great and tiring long weekend with three days (so far) of being sick.

I'll preface this discussion by saying, I rarely get sick. And then I moved to New York City. I had to take a few sick days last year (something I NEVER did at any part-time job), and I've taken two this year. One was in January when I was 90% sure I had strep throat (the doctor said otherwise, but then again I had to wait a few days to see him. I still think I had it during that time), and today for the freakin' common cold.

I never get colds, I get "sinus issues." My nose runs, my throat hurts, I get pressure in my head, and it's gone in a day. I woke up Monday feeling like crap and blamed it on the weather. And then yesterday I woke up feeling worse and weak and could not stop sneezing. I knew I hadn't suddenly developed some crazy allergy, but WebMD did tell me I have the common cold. For once it didn't tell me I was going to die.

So when I woke up and got ready today feeling like death, I knew it was time to stay home before I got the whole office sick. I also had a boatload of work to do.

I went back to bed for awhile to the discontent of my cat who loves routines, like me waking up at 7, but definitely needed that extra hour and a half. Then I made a to-do list on my computer and got to work.

Working form home has always sounded ideal to me. I don't have to worry about getting to or from work, I get to be comfortable, I could work out if I wanted to (not when I'm sick, obviously), my phone isn't constantly ringing...and as I daydream about this I always think, "nah I'll never get anything done like that, I'll eat my weight in junk and just be on Facebook all day."

Seriously, I've never been so productive. Seriously! First of all, I didn't turn the TV on at all, just had some music on while I read through articles for a newsletter. No one was calling me, I was able to focus on one thing at a time, the lighting in my apartment is much better than the fluorescent stuff that's prevalent in every office...it was perfect. Granted, there are certain things that I can only do at my office, like submitting invoices and whatnot, but those things that I never made it off my to-do list earlier this week? Done!

I learned a few things about myself today. For one, I don't have ADD. Sometimes with everything going on in an office, I feel like I don't actually have the capacity to focus on one thing at a time. But with all the distractions that my own apartment can tempt me with, I was able to put it all aside and just get things done. I also learned that I can get more done while not feeling stressed out. When I am stressed out, I hide it because who wants to work with the girl that's freaking out? No one. But hiding it doesn't help either. What I need to do from here on out is just take a deep breath and prioritize. Sometimes that means rearranging my to-do list to accommodate new projects, and that's ok.

I also learned that sick days as an adult are completely different from sick days during school. Despite how crappy I feel, I knew I couldn't just let everything slide today. I couldn't sit around watching Spongebob all morning...ok, so I did watch SOME Spongebob, but what's a sick day without cartoons? At least I didn't take an hour break at 11 am to catch The Price is Right.

I suppose the overarching lesson here is that when you actually stop and look at yourself, you realize how much you've grown. I've always felt like a little kid that's younger than everyone around me, and who doesn't look my age (this past weekend someone guessed it at 21...they were three years off). I suppose this is part of being the baby of the family, but another part of it is not believing I'm actually an adult now, I guess? But then I have days like today where I'm super responsible and I realize, yeah, I actually am one! I mean, I even made myself a full dinner from my new Giada book (with lunch for the next two days) and cleaned out my fridge. I did, however, neglect the laundry for another day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finally get some rest, catch up on some New Girl and perhaps binge watch the last season of Mad Men. Anyone else stoked for April 7th?