On Living Life Outside Your Computer...

I've touched on this theme before, but let's take another look at it.

I read this article today: On Getting #engaged

Pretty sure everyone knows I love weddings. Not in a 27 Dresses way where I'm in a bunch of them, and definitely not in the sappy I-love-to-cry-at-weddings way, but more so in the "all I have to do is show up, eat, drink and have fun" way.

Keeping all this in mind, we also know I'm a big fan of Friday Brideday on TLC, particularly Say Yes to the Dress marathons. I'm also an avid pinner on Pinterest and, yup, most of my pins are on my "Maybe Someday" board, aka, my wedding board.

I wasn't really like this until I got into a serious relationship and realized that getting married was something that could happen in my future.

When I was younger, for some reason I thought I would be married by the time I was 25, because when you're in elementary school that seems like an age where you become an adult (I was actually trying to play the "I'm an adult" card at 18, but that obviously didn't work). I'm one year away from 25, and I still don't feel like an adult. I pay bills and go to work, but inside I'm about 12 years old.

Anyway, I'm a year away from that age when I thought I would be married and start popping out kids, and I know that won't happen by next year and I am totally fine with that. And now everyone in my digital life is getting married and popping out kids by the time they're 25.

There's nothing wrong with this as long as you're doing it for the right reason. Most of my Facebook friends that are doing this have been with this person since high school, waited until after college and I could not be happier for them. Most of them also don't live their married/parented lives through Facebook and I am SERIOUSLY grateful for that.

I've seen a few here and there that spam my feed with dozens of pictures of their engagement rings, mentions of their fiance, which then turns into mentions of their "hubby" after millions of wedding pictures are posted. This is where I usually find myself getting spiteful and silently hating on their pictures and thinking things like, "ugh, I would never do that. My wedding will be sooooo much better." And then I realize that I am feeding the problem that is social media.

People only post the positive things that make their lives seem amazing (aside from those that post the ever annoying updates of "not feeling well," or "why can't anything go right?" or the worst one, "sigh...."), so it's no surprise we get jealous. What they don't post are the arguments they may have had with their family and friends in planning that wedding, or the harder times that every couple faces from time to time. Social networks capture whatever you want them too, and obviously you want people to think you're awesome.

So is that why all these people are getting married and having babies all around me (not literally having babies near me. I wouldn't stand for that nastiness)? Maybe not. But that article above brings up a great point that perhaps some of these people aren't considering:

It seems to me our generation has become infatuated with celebrating the act of becoming engaged, rather than celebrating the act of two people committing their lives to one another. The proposal pictures we gawk over on HowHeAsked.com keep us so fixated on planning our weddings, that we start to forget one important fact: weddings turn into marriages.

I think it's great that we want to keep photographic evidence of all these happenings. And it's amazing that we can keep so much of it and share it instantly. And I'm sure people want to see your rings and your dresses and hear about how the day was if they couldn't make it/weren't invited, but we also need to focus on keeping our lives outside of these pictures just as beautiful.

There are times when I want to quit Facebook and be free of checking it multiple times a day (it's pathetic, I know), but I actually do use it to keep up with people I care about and I kind of need my account for work purposes (social media = marketing, yo). People aren't 100% themselves on social networks, and that makes me a little sad. I've become connected to people on these networks who I think are incredibly awesome in person, and then they complain/overpost/overshare/become horrible on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, and then I start to dislike them overall as a person. I know, it's not great and maybe not even the "right thing" to do, but it happens.

Why do some people decide to be someone else online? Or why do we feel the need to create a carefully crafted persona that doesn't accurately depict us as we are in real life (IRL, if you will)? Why do we care so much? Years from now, what we put on Facebook won't matter. In fact, what I put on there in high school doesn't matter already. And most of what I put on there in college is pointless, too.

If we spent half as much time focusing on just being good people and pursuing things we love, I think we would all be happier. I'm guilty of being stuck in my digital world far too often, and I'm going to challenge myself to take about 20 steps back. There's no need to be checking my email and newsfeed while also trying to watch Breaking Bad. And I don't need to check my phone all the damn time while I'm hanging out with friends.



Anyone else feel like taking a break from our tiring digital lives? Join me. Pick up a book. Look someone in the eyes when they're talking to you. Go a week without posting or tweeting. Just live your actual life instead of your #life.

On Getting Out On the Weekends...

The internet is sad today. Trial outcomes, untimely celebrity deaths, a lot of ignorance...I had to get out of my apartment. Aside from a run yesterday, I stayed in all day and didn't regret it. But I can't handle too many weepy social media posts, so I needed some air.

I didn't really find any air outside considering the heat advisory in New York City that's in place until midnight tonight, but I did see some fun sights.

Like the woman walking around Queens Boulevard in her robe and slippers. She was completely coherent. Didn't seem crazy aside from her attire. I would say she looked in her mirror before leaving her home and thought, "yes, this is acceptable," but the odds of her having looked in the mirror at all are slim. If there's one thing that's for sure in New York City, it's that you can express yourself freely. Things like this are so common that no one questions it.

My first stop was at Duane Reade where I saw one of the best employee-customer exchanges ever. Apparently batteries are kept behind the counter there, and an employee had to go get them for this guy. They talked a bit, he told her what kind of batteries he needed, then I heard this:

Customer: "What's your name?"
Employee: "Theresa."
Customer: "Thanks, Theresa. Loved the eye roll, by the way. Sorry for making you do your job!"

Theresa clearly was still not really doing her job, because even though this man said it loud and clear and all of us waiting in line looked at each other like someone just got called down to the Principal's office in elementary school, she turned to everyone and cluelessly asked, "what did he say?" I wasn't about to tell her. It was too awesome to repeat. Bottom line: Some jobs suck. Make yours better by not being miserable all the time. I've worked in retail, Theresa. It's not fun unless you make it fun.

I then headed to Starbucks to get an iced coffee where not much happened except for a child getting too close to me the whole time I was in line. I was carrying about three big Duane Reade bags (because I bought economy packs of paper towels and toilet paper) and was trying to stay out of the way. Then while I was waiting for my drink she practically plowed through my bags. I let out a, "seriously?"

The highlight of the trip was the Wafels & Dinges truck, as per usual. I opted for the special "De S'mores Wafel," which came with speculoos, marshmallows and chocolate fudge. It was everything I'd hoped for and more. The guy taking my order suggested a nice scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of the wafel, and normally I couldn't resist that, but heat advisories are no joke and neither is soupy ice cream.

By the time I got back the internet had become a slightly better place. At least the political rants weren't clogging my feed anymore. Twitter is a different story, but I'm only going to visit that place to see what shenanigans Amanda Bynes is up to for now.